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——Skirmish at Nisuwa——-

——Caldari Militia Report Nisuwa Region YC114——

Skirmish occurred at 0425 EVE Time.

Reporting Count of 45+ Caldari Cruisers with logistical support.

Shield Caracal / Moa Comp — Osprey Units on Grid.

"Arriving at the Federation station we did not anticipate much resistance, this area of the battlefields was always quiet with activity during this time. As we approached the border zones around the station we placed ourselves into formation for any possible federation target they may enter the area around station or the docking area. Local channels began to spike as we were greeted by Gallente militia forces under command of the QCAT Syndicate."

F.C- “Hold Steady and anchor on me the FC stated across comm’s…”

"We were now staring right into the eyes of our enemy with a strong formation of battle hardened cruiser pilots ready to unleash hell upon the federation scum, The Enemy then deployed multiple high value targets around the docking area of the station (Battleships / Navy Issues, Marauders and even a Carrier) No shots were fired for nearly 20 minutes as we planned our course of action against the federation ships."

——Scanners Detect Movement of *Kronos* Target engines have been activated——

"The hostile marauder had activated its engines and began moving towards us."

Federation Pilot- “Caldari Scourge! You must leave this area at once or be fired upon this will be your only warning.”

"Ignoring the Federation pilots warning he continued flying towards us at maximum velocity and began activating his weapons, we then waited for him to gain distance from his group (Who were still holding firm on the docking station). The hostile was now within range of attack and our FC had given to order to begin firing, A volley of hundreds of warheads and multiple Rail gun beams surged through the space between us and began hitting the federation vessel. The marauder began bombarding our cruiser force back and activated himself in bastion to try and destroy as many of us as possible, Our logistical chain began supporting us and got the Ospreys into action, That marauder wasn’t going to touch us. We continued on Anchor orders to keep out of range of the other enemy support ships while bombarding the marauder, we continued firing for 20+ minutes until his modules and tank could withstand no more. The Federation Marauder had become space debris gaining us the first victory in the skirmish over Nisuwa, And then…. Local channels began to spike" 

F.C- “LOCAL SPIKE!! LOCAL SPIKE!! Give me an intel report!!”

"The system had just been crowded by a roaming third party pirate group known as SniggWaffe… Forces funded by the P.L Wallet. They entered the area around station and we backed off to a suitable distance, there was now Us sitting 200Km off station in one direction, the Waffles sitting 200Km off in another and the Frogs sitting at the docking area. This stand off could only end in one way…"

F.C- “Gentlemen, in order to go out in a blaze of glory we are just going to have to warp in as close as possible as soon as they do. FIRE EVERYTHING YOU HAVE AND TARGET THE WAFFLES AND FROGS ALIKE.”

"We warped to a closer area to the station and formed a charging line, the order was given to fire absolutely everything (Visual Representation above). The waffles advanced the same and the federation began firing their weapons, the amount of damaged received on all three sides was tremendous leaving all of us crippled beyond repair, closing the skirmish at Nisuwa. All forces began to retreat after heavy losses on all sides and the system began to empty. Just another day at the office."


——Caldari Militia Report Nisuwa Region YC114——

——Sending packet to command——

——Awaiting Acknowledgement…

——Awaiting Acknowledgement…

——Awaiting Acknowledgement…

——Received, Thank-you——

——Transmission Closed——

Seriously need something good to come my way..

Time for another 5 days alone.

I really wished i hadn’t of gotten this screwed up over the past 2 years, its like i have died and Im someone else who has not a lot of fight left.

I wish there was something that could bring that person back… i just have no idea what or how. Its becoming more and more disruptive to my life that i have to constantly think about the mistakes ive made. All that hurt i inflicted saying the wrong things to people, breaking ties with people and ruining myself at a social peak.

I really really really wish sooooo much that something amazingly good will happen soon, Im still riding on faith to deliver something to me… Its must surely?!? 

I mean i can’t just sit here forever and continuously have bad fortune right?

I keep dreaming about the times where i was close to the next reality and how scary yet calming it was. I mean being able to see into the next realm of so called existence and be okay with it is so fucking frightening but its okay at the same time if that makes any sense. I just keep dreaming about those 2/3 moments where it could of been time to go and how it was a choice not to leave yet. A strong choice some people may agree as those kind of acts are always looked down upon. 

These dreams are scaring me. Making me remember. How alone i was. How alone i Still am.

I don’t have anyone left really anyway, everyone is having issues of their own which is completely understandable and i don’t judge them for a second because of it and respect their boundaries its just even when i have listened to all of them about whats going on and helped them by either helping them buy something or talking them through it to fix it always becomes to much of a task when i hit ground zero.

I haven’t looked out for #1 in years and look where it has got me. A depressed lonely pile of shit with no aspects apart from trying to work my way up in whats seems to be an endless job. At least a few years ago i could go out and be confident with people and be okay with things, Now i can’t even do normal things with people due to such complicated past with them due to how fucked up i got. AND I FUCKING HATE THAT. !

Im tired of being by myself all the time. Only needed when people need me and then forgotten. Im tired of being by myself… ALL THE FUCKING TIME its making me go nuts. There is just a line of people i wish I had never fucking met or even spoken too.. Giving them the time of day in the first place had landed me here and now they are all off too busy with what ever the fuck is happening leaving me to rot.

Sick and tired of talking to people through a screen or over the chat box, people cannot see what you are trying to say with your face, eyes or expression of your words through that and its broken everything for me.

I don’t want to be by myself anymore. But there is no one out there who will help me.

And i fear that all of this fear, negativity, isolation and upset state is going to land me in a real deep whole. In the fucking ground.

I wish something would happen soon and change my life around. Because I really need it.

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